Simple truth
by Annamia
Summary: It wasn't Yuki's business to mess with Toya's love life. So why was he so upset when Toya and Chi started going out? Agnst with a happy ending. I promise. K 'cause there's not much of anything worth warning against.


_Disclaimer: This isn't mine. Or at least, the characters aren't. They belong to CLAMP. I stole the name Chi from them too, though my Chi's an OC. The story is all mine, though. Well, mine and that of countless other fangirls like me who believe that Toya and Yuki are Meant To Be Together. Yup, I'm definitely a fangirl ;). So sue me._

* * *

Simple Truth

Kyra

Sure, she was cute. She was even completely adorable. All the guys at school were madly in love with her. All of them except for him, that is. Even his best friend seemed to have a thing for her, and Yuki didn't even want to think about how much that hurt him. This was just a phase that he was going through. It would pass eventually, and then he would be grateful that he hadn't said anything. Except that, until it did pass, he was going to have to sit through listening to his friend compose bad poetry to a girl who obviously wasn't interested. It was hard. Still, he told himself firmly that it was making his friend happy and wracked his brains for yet another word that rhymed with locks of gold.

It wasn't all bad poetry, of course. At times, Toya seemed to forget all about her and concentrate only on Yuki. Yuki pretended that nothing was different during those increasingly rare moments and denied the fact that his heart would tear a little more every time Toya went back to brooding. Toya, typically, didn't even notice. There were times when Yuki came perilously close to hating both Toya and Chi, but even in the depths of his despair he couldn't quite make himself utter those three words. He couldn't hate Toya. Something in him wouldn't let it happen.

He closed his eyes, willing himself not to see Toya and Chi walking hand in hand. Apparently some of Toya's poetry had done the job, or Chi had just gotten tired of his persistence. Yuki knew from experience just how stubborn Toya could be, and he didn't blame Chi for finally admitting defeat. He didn't manage to repress a slight shudder as Toya leaned down to whisper something into Chi's ear and started to walk a little faster. If he didn't see it with his own eyes, he could pretend that it was nothing more than just a rumor. That might make it a little easier to cope with. Not that there was anything he could do about it. Besides, what right did he have to mess up Toya's love life? It didn't matter if Chi was nothing more than a giggling cheerleader with more bust than brains. No, he wasn't being fair. Chi was very smart, and it wasn't _her_ fault that most guys tended to only concentrate on her… attributes.

He hurried into the classroom and dropped his books onto his desk. He looked straight ahead, not even acknowledging the couple as they parted at the door. Thankfully, Toya's desk was a little ways away from his – Kinomoto and Tsukishiro were a ways apart in the alphabet, after all – and Yuki could pretend not to notice Toya as the dark haired boy walked past him. Toya shot him a surprised glance, which Yuki did his best not to see, and started to double back towards Yuki's desk. The teacher came into the class at that moment, though, and scowled at Toya, who made his way hurriedly back to his own desk.

Yuki struggled and failed to concentrate on the lesson that day, saved from complete embarrassment only by the girl behind him, who hissed the answer in his ear each time Kyuko-sensei called on him. Yuki sensed that Kyuko-sensei was watching him carefully, clearly aware that something was going on. Still, he didn't call Yuki back after class, so Yuki must have looked like he was at least pretending to pay attention. Kyuko-sensei had been a High School teacher for a long time, and he knew when it was fruitless to try to get students to really pay attention. He'd told them that at the beginning of the year, adding that he expected them to do him the courtesy of at least pretending to care. The class, aware of the rareness of such a deal, had readily agreed.

"What's wrong with you?" Mizuki, the girl who sat behind him, asked as they gathered their books and made their way to P.E. class. "You're not usually so distracted in class.

Yuki shrugged. "Nothing," he said vaguely. "Just tired."

Mizuki nodded. They walked in silence for a while, then she asked brightly, "So, how much do you care to bet that Kinomoto-kun and Chi-chan will be history by the end of the month?"

Yuki shrugged again, this time in discomfort. "I don't really care," he said flatly. "It's not my problem."

Mizuki looked at him in surprise. "Kinomoto-kun's your best friend, though, isn't he?"

"So? It's still not my business to discuss his love life." His voice was stiff and he winced inwardly as he heard himself.

"Fine. Never mind, then. See you later." Mizuki caught the eye of one of her female friends and darted off to join her, obviously eager to continue the conversation about Toya and Chi with a more appreciative audience.

Yuki walked by himself to P.E., telling himself that he didn't miss Toya's presence next to him at all, and determined not to acknowledge the tight place in his heart that made him want to cry.

* * *

Yuki allowed himself to smile as Sakura let him into the house. He liked her, despite Toya's mutterings about how she was nothing more than a small elephant with far too much energy. She always seemed happy to see him, and he thought of her as the kid sister he'd never had. Not to mention the fact that she wasn't likely to want to discuss Toya's love life with him.

He'd done his best over the last week to avoid both gossip about the new couple and Toya himself. He knew that his friend was puzzled by his distance, and Toya had tried many times to pry out what was wrong, but Yuki always forced himself to walk away and leave Toya standing in the middle of the hallway, a confused expression on his face. Still, he had to come into contact with Toya sometimes, and the moments of forced familiarity had become strained and uncomfortable for both of them.

"I made cookies," Sakura announced, leading Yuki into the kitchen and proudly presenting him with a plate of almost star shaped cookies.

Yuki grinned. "Are these for me?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yup! I made them with only a little help from Tomoyo."

Yuki picked one up and took a bite, unwilling to show her that he was a bit apprehensive about eating them. Sakura was not known for her domestic talents, and he knew just how much work she put into not having to do the cooking. Still, if Tomoyo had helped her, then the cookies were probably eatable. Sure enough, the taste of cinnamon and sugar flooded his mouth, making him close his eyes in appreciation.

"Are they good?" she asked anxiously, watching him closely.

He opened his eyes and smiled at her. "They're wonderful. Thank you Sakura!" He took another bite of the cookie, savoring the sweetness as he swallowed it.

She grinned back, blushing slightly. Yuki did her the courtesy of pretending not to see it. He knew how it felt, to have the object of your affections not return them, and he was determined not to ignore her. He wasn't going to lead her on, though, and he made a note to talk to her about it one day.

"Toya's not home," Sakura announced. "He's off somewhere, probably with whatsherface his new girlfriend."

Yuki fought to retain a wince at her words. So much for Sakura not talking about Toya's love life. "Chi," he told her. "Her name is Chi."

Sakura nodded. She looked at Yuki speculatively. "You know, Toya can be really stupid sometimes," she said suddenly. "You have to hit him really hard to get him to come to his senses."

Yuki blinked. "What?"

"He's always with her these days," Sakura explained. "He doesn't realize that you're lonely."

Yuki frowned, more than a little uncomfortable at the turn the conversation had taken. "Toya can spend time with whomever he wants," he said, wondering which of them he was trying to convince.

Sakura shrugged. "I'm just saying," she said. Suddenly, she stiffened, her eyes going blank.

"Sakura?" Yuki asked worriedly.

"Sorry, gotta go! Hope you like the cookies!" She took off up the stairs. A moment later, she was dashing out the door, her purse over her shoulder, the muzzle of the stuffed lion she'd taken to carrying around poking out. Yuki blinked hard at it. Surely it was just his imagination that had made the plush toy look hard at him and jerk its head towards the door.

* * *

Yuki walked slowly home, for once not brooding about a situation he couldn't change. Spring was on its way, and he loved the scent of the air at this season. Everything smelled of promise and growing, and the very blades of grass seemed to radiate change and new beginnings. And if it had anything to do with the fact that spring was the season peach blossoms came out in their full glory… well, Yuki wasn't going to make himself think about that.

He paused at the entrance to the park, wondering if he could afford not to go straight home. His grandparents probably wouldn't care, and he was old enough to wander the park alone. Making up his mind, he stepped through the gate and made his way down the dirt path, enjoying the feel of the wind on his skin and in his hair. He dropped his school bag on the grass, then took his jacket off as well. He flopped down on the grass, looking up into the sky and not thinking about anything but how beautiful it all was.

A shadow passed over him, and he glanced to the side, his good mood vanishing as he realized that it was Toya. Chi, thankfully, was nowhere in sight, but even Toya by himself was enough to ruin Yuki's happiness. Yuki started to turn away, but Toya stopped him with a soft hand on the shoulder.

"Yuki, wait," he said softly.

Unwilling but unable to resist the faint pleading note in Toya's voice, Yuki turned back, not saying anything. Toya looked at him for a long moment, his eyes concerned and confused, his mouth closed. Finally, he sat down next to Yuki. Yuki couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't do anything but watch as the boy he'd always loved sat there next to him. He hated not having the strength to leave, as he knew he should, but he wasn't willing to break the strange spell that seemed to have come over Toya.

Finally, the dark haired boy said softly, "Sakura told me that I shouldn't ignore you. She said that you were my best friend and I was hurting you and that that wasn't okay."

Yuki winced but didn't comment.

"Is that true?" Toya's voice was gentle and concerned, his words filled with anxious tenderness. "Am I hurting you?"

Yuki couldn't help himself. He nodded.

Toya's breath caught. "How?" he breathed fiercely. "How am I hurting you? I don't want to hurt you, Yuki. Trust me. That's the last thing I want to do!"

Yuki shook his head. "It's not your fault." His voice sounded soft and distant to his own ears. "You can't help what you feel." 'You can't help it anymore than I can,' he added silently, knowing as he did so that the words would never be uttered between them.

Toya frowned. Suddenly, his face cleared and he looked stricken. "Is this about Chi?"

Yuki nodded again, painfully aware of the blush creeping across his cheeks.

Toya shook his head. "Yuki, why didn't you say anything?"

"I want you to be happy." It came out a mumble, as though he'd thought the better of saying the words a fraction of an instant too late.

"Seeing you hurt doesn't make me happy," Toya assured him. "Yuki, you need to be happy too."

"I am." The lie came out flat and both of them knew it.

"No you're not," Toya said firmly. He still hadn't let go of Yuki's shoulder, and now his other hand came over to take Yuki's. "I know you're not. Tell me Yuki. Tell me what to do to make you happy again."

'Say you love me.' Yuki burned to say the words, but he made himself swallow them whole. Instead, he shrugged the shoulder not currently trapped under Toya's strong hand. "There's nothing you can do," he said instead, instantly regretting the words as a volume of hurt showed on Toya's face. "I mean," Yuki added quickly. "It's not your fault so you can't fix it."

Toya looked at him sadly and seemed about to say something else.

"Please Toya," Yuki pleaded before Toya could get any words out. "Let me do this on my own. I need to figure this out by myself."

Reluctantly, Toya nodded. Just as reluctantly, he withdrew his hands from Yuki, allowing the other boy to sit up and smooth his hair and clothes. Toya watched impassively as Yuki gathered his things and stood, not moving as Yuki walked out of the park. Only when he reached the gate did he start running and only when he'd locked himself in his room did the tears begin to fall.

* * *

Yuki put the finishing touches on his picture, leaning back slightly to examine it. He winced as he realized what he'd pained, wondering just how to explain the scene to his teacher. He suspected that Kanaharo-sensei, the art teacher, would want an explanation of just why Yuki had chosen to paint his picture in black and red alone, not to mention the fact that there was a very definite corpse in the background. He winced at that, noticing with relief that it was too fuzzy for anyone to identify. He himself wasn't even sure who it was, though he was fairly sure it was one of two people: Toya or himself. Even so, it would be a bit hard to go up to Kanaharo-sensei and said, 'I'm sorry about this picture. My heart's being broken and this is how it chooses to express itself. I promise you I don't need counseling and I'll redo today's assignment as soon as I can lift a paintbrush in a color other than black or red.' No, he was fairly certain that that wouldn't work.

Kanaharo-sensei was calling for them to finish up, though, and Yuki had no choice but to sign his name at the bottom of the painting and turn it in. Kanaharo-sensei raised a surprised eyebrow at that, but Yuki moved away before the teacher could say anything. He acknowledged Toya with a faint nod, aware that if he started ignoring the other boy again, Toya would worry and try to talk to him again, and Yuki wasn't ready for that. He didn't know why Toya and Chi as an item affected him so much, and he was determined not to analyze it. There were things it was better not to understand. He simply accepted that he was going to be miserable for the foreseeable future, and that was the end of that. If only Toya could understand that, then everything would be just lovely.

He made it through the rest of the day on autopilote, as he had done for the last couple weeks. He was smart enough to be able to fake most answers, and if the teachers suspected anything was wrong they didn't say anything about it. He would just continue like this until his heart realized it was fruitless and went to pin itself on someone else. Anyone would be better than Toya, Yuki thought. At least if it was anyone else, he would be able to talk to Toya about it.

He debated stopping by the park again on the way home, and finally gave in to the urge. It was a Saturday, he didn't have school the next day, and he wasn't going to let one bad conversation ruin the beauty of the park for him. Keeping that thought firmly in mind, he stepped through the gate and made his way down the familiar dirt path. He passed by the grassy hill where he'd stopped last time and continued on down the path until he reached the playground. It was deserted, and he sat down on one of the swings, swinging idly. He flew higher and higher, reveling in the feel of the wind in his hair and on his face. He soared up and up, seeming to be the highest thing in the city for a brief moment, before coming down in a wide arc and barely brushing the packed dirt with his toes, and then swinging up the other way until he reached the zenith of the swing. It was exhilarating. He hadn't done anything like this in far too long, and he resolved not to allow himself to be so wrapped up in pain that he forgot the joy in life again.

He was concentrating so hard on the fierce joy rushing through his body that he didn't notice when someone else took the swing next to him and started swinging as though his life depended on it. Yuki didn't notice until it was too late that he was no longer alone, and when he turned to see who had joined him, he realized with dismay that it was Toya. He resisted the urge to jump off the swing and run away. It wasn't Toya's fault that he kept coming to the park the same time Yuki did. It wasn't like Toya was stalking him. Right?

He stilled as Toya flew forwards, the wind he created blowing his dark hair away from his face. Yuki could plainly see the tear traces on his friend's cheeks, and any thoughts he'd had about Toya instantly vanished as he struggled to figure out what could be wrong. Hesitantly, he slowed to a stop, dragging his feet in the dust to bring the swing to a full stop. He would get dirt on his new white sneakers, but this was more important than keeping new shoes clean. Toya too slowed, getting dirt all over _his_ sneakers. They looked at each other for a long moment, Toya's eyes full of pain, Yuki's carefully emotionless. Finally, Yuki asked, "What's wrong?"

Toya shrugged, obviously doing his best to get his feelings under control. "Nothing."

Yuki winced at that, remembering how many times he'd answered a similar question with that word. He made a mental note not to use it again. He crossed his arms over his chest, took a deep breath, and insisted, "Toya, please tell me!"

Toya opened his mouth to lie, but caught the look in Yuki's eyes and stopped, his shoulders slumping slightly. Yuki put a gentle hand on the taller boy's shoulder, ignoring the thrill of pleasure that passed through him at the contact. Their eyes met, and Yuki knew that his friend would be honest with him.

"Chi said that it isn't working between us anymore." His voice was flat, almost dead. Yuki frowned, sure that this wasn't the entire story. Toya had been dumped by girls before, after all, and none of them had brought him this close to a complete breakdown. Was he really in love with Chi? But he didn't seem to be the tortured boyfriend. Rather, it was almost as though the news about Chi hadn't come as either a shock or a surprise. In fact, Yuki was sure that, though true, it was only a fraction of the entire problem.

"I'm sorry," he said, for lack of anything else.

Toya shrugged. "It's okay." His voice was still just as flat, just as carefully emotionless.

Yuki's frown deepened, but he didn't press Toya. He knew what it was like to be pressed too soon, and he didn't want Toya to have to go through that. Instead, he did his best to smile reassuringly. "If you need someone to talk to," he said gently.

Toya looked at him levelly, then nodded. Yuki knew as he withdrew his hand and turned to go that Toya wouldn't be coming to talk to him any time soon.

* * *

Yuki's grandparents were out and he was in charge of the house for the week. It was spring vacation and he was all alone. Not a very good position to be in when you were doing your best to avoid being alone with your thoughts, but there wasn't much he could do about it. Better just to smile and nod at them and cope as best he could. So far he'd managed fine.

He looked up in surprise at a familiar figure, smiling as Sakura pushed open the gate and stepped into his grandmother's garden. She grinned back at him, then her expression darkened. "Did you and Toya have a fight?" she demanded.

Yuki frowned. "A fight?" he repeated. "No. Why?"

"Because he's being stupid again," she announced, leaning against the fence and looking idly up at the clouds as she spoke. "And when I kicked him hard enough, he admitted that he was trying not to think of you."

Yuki felt his pulse quicken. "Of me?" He sounded like a parrot, repeating her words like this, but he couldn't help it. Why was Toya trying not to think of him? Could it be…? He firmly put a lid on those thoughts. No, it wasn't possible. Toya was probably just moping about some other girl. Wasn't that what usually triggered his fits of melancholy?

Sakura nodded, looking at him carefully. "Yukito-san," she asked suddenly, "do you like anyone?"

His blood froze in its tracks. "What do you mean?" he asked carefully.

"You love someone, don't you?" she asked again.

He didn't answer, and she added softly, "Is it Toya?"

Defeated, Yuki nodded. He expected her to slump in disappointment, or try to smile for his sake. He knew how hard it was to learn that the person you loved didn't love you back. He didn't expect her to nod knowingly and grin at him, and, when she did, he had no idea how to respond.

"You should tell him," she advised. "Toya can be really stupid a lot of the time, and he won't know unless you tell him."

"He doesn't like me back," Yuki objected, relieved that he had someone he could talk to, even if it was only Toya's kid sister.

She shook her head. "I think he does," she said firmly. She glanced at him, then added, "He said he didn't want to lose you, after all."

Yuki frowned. "How do you know that?"

She grinned brightly at him. "He said it kinda loudly," she pointed out. "I wanted to ask him something, but I thought the two of you could use some time alone."

"Thank you," he said, not knowing what else to say.

"So, are you going to tell him?" she insisted. "'Cause if you don't, I will."

Yuki forced himself not to glare at her. "No you don't," he warned. "Don't tell him. Please!"

"Then you do it. He's moping and he's no fun anymore. He won't know unless you tell him, and he won't stop moping until he knows."

Yuki stared at her, unused to hearing such perceptiveness coming from her. "You're sure?" he asked.

She nodded. "Positive," she promised. "So, how soon can you come over?"

Yuki shrugged. "Any time," he said.

"Good. So you can come right now! It's Toya's night to cook, and he won't cook anything good if he's sad."

Yuki laughed. "So this is all about the food, is it?" he asked, putting down his watering can and going over to where she was standing.

She shrugged, her eyes strangely tender. "I want Toya to be happy," she said. "And I want you to be happy. If that means getting you together, then that's what I'll do."

"And what about you?" Yuki couldn't help asking. "Does this make _you_ happy, Sakura?"

The look in her eyes hadn't changed, but a faint shade of memory crept in. "Tomoyo told me once," she said softly, "that, instead of being with the person she loved, she just wanted that person to be happy. I think that that's what I want too."

Yuki nodded, making a note to thank Tomoyo one day. She seemed to help Sakura through a lot. "You'll find someone Sakura," he promised. "Someone just for you."

"You think so?" She couldn't keep the thread of longing out of her voice, though he knew she tried.

He nodded. "I know so," he said, and she grinned at him. She slipped her small hand into his and began tugging him out of his garden and down the road to her own house.

* * *

Yuki knocked hesitantly on Toya's door. Despite Sakura's assurances, he wasn't at all sure that this was a good thing to do, and he swallowed hard as Toya's head poked out of the door. His face underwent a strange series of transformations when he realized that it was Yuki, but he opened the door a little wider and let Yuki in. He closed the door behind his friend and the two boys stood there for a long moment, staring at each other.

Finally, Yuki took a deep breath. "Toya… there's… I need to tell you something."

Toya nodded, waiting. Yuki grimaced, wishing his friend would help him along. "Sakura says that you've been moping," he said, more as a stalling tactic than anything else.

Toya shrugged. "Sakura should mind her own business," he said shortly.

Yuki winced. Toya wasn't making this easy at all. "She said that you didn't want to think about me," he pressed.

"I didn't," Toya admitted.

"Why… why not?"

Toya shrugged, then sighed. His shoulders slumped slightly and he looked down at the floor in defeat. "You scare me," he admitted. "You make me feel things that I've never felt before and it scares me."

"What do you mean?" Yuki whispered.

"Isn't it obvious? I can't think when you're around. My words get stuck and don't come out right. I always feel like I'm making a fool of myself when I'm with you, and I hate it!" Toya's voice became more passionate, his words angrier and less precisely defined. "I don't know how to act around you, and I'm not used to that. I'm used to always being in control of myself and the people around me. With you… with you I'm not." His voice had dropped to a whisper again, the last words barely audible.

Yuki couldn't breath, couldn't think. Was Sakura right? Was Toya, the one he'd been dreaming about for longer than he cared to remember, saying that he loved him? It didn't seem real. "You make me feel the same way," Yuki admitted softly. Toya looked at him in shock, their eyes meeting again.

"What?" he asked, clearly going through the same mental gymnastics Yuki had just completed.

"I feel exactly the same way around you," Yuki repeated. "I always have."

Toya was still staring at him. "Really?"

Yuki nodded. "Really."

As though in a trance, Toya lifted his hand. Yuki's rose to meet it, and their fingers twined together, the contact spreading like fire through both of them. There was nothing else, no passionate kisses or fervent declarations to always be true. They didn't need them. A single gesture was enough to tell each what the other had always known: they loved each other truly and deeply, and nothing could change that. It simply was.


End file.
